The other day, comedian and actor Denis Leary was on Conan O’Brien. He was promoting his new book, and the subject of autographs came up. He talked about when he started out doing comedic shorts for MTV and first started getting recognized places. He said it was just people at first that would say things like “Hey, it’s you” and smile, or nod their head. But at an airport, a person came up for an autograph with things in his hand for him to sign. He was thrilled, smiling and signing away. The guy looked at the items after he signed them and said, “What the hell is this?!”
Leary responded, “What?” He wondered if perhaps his signature was a bit too messy. The guy then said, “You’re not Willem Dafoe ?!”
He said the most recent time it happened, a Middle Eastern guy was his Uber driver. He said, “My wife and I really like you, but you know who we really love? It’s Kyra Sedgwick.”
At that point, Leary realized this guy thought he was actor Kevin Bacon (who is married to Sedgwick). He said he was too tired to explain who he was, so he meekly said, “Yeah, thanks man.”
The guy kept asking him questions, and at one point said something like “She’s won two Golden Globes,” to which he snapped, “I got nominated for one, too.” Before naming the movie in which Bacon got one. At some point, this guy’s wife called and they were talking. He showed the wife the video of him in the backseat and she said, “That’s not Kevin Bacon!”
With that, the Uber driver started yelling at him for lying, as he tried explaining the story, the man said, “Get out of my car now!” It was hysterical.
As the audience laughed at this story, he then mentioned the list he had written that had the five celebrities he most often gets mistaken for when he’s approached for an autograph or selfie. It obviously had Bacon and Dafoe, as well as singer Bryan Adams, and the person that got the biggest laugh -- Jane Lynch.
Now, from the humor to the horror. The murdering scumbag (do we still have to say “allegedly” Steve?) O.J. Simpson is so stupid, that instead of just laying low and enjoying life, he has to go out in public making scenes. There was a recent photo that showed up with him sandwiched between two attractive young women in bikinis. On Halloween, we got to see the photos of him wearing a Buffalo Bills jersey and handing out candy. Now...you know how paranoid parents can get with their kids walking the streets? Imagine sending them up to a killer’s door. I sure hope they checked that candy well, to make sure there were no razor blades in it.
Now, remember how kids would egg the houses that gave out fruit instead of candy, or kept their lights off during trick or treating? I wish people in the neighborhood would’ve done that.