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Ebay Forgery Seller Guide: What to do when you've been caught‏

So, you're selling the Beatles fully signed pick guard you picked up on Ebay in 2004. It was $64 when you bought it, and now you realize you can easily sell it for $37,000.

But look out! Someone on the AML website is declaring that your item is fake! Well, not to fear. You know you have your bases covered, because you have a COA straight from the now out-of-business baseball card store in Florida you bought it from.

Take a deep breath and follow these steps. We'll get through this.

1) Phase 1: Incognito. Waft into the site under an assumed name (the more ridiculous or generic, the better). Leave vague, bizarre counterarguments like, "Sure looks good to me" or "I heard they signed pickguards at a private signing in 1967." Your lone voice in the wilderness will surely get the agressors to rethink their stance.

2) Phase 2: Justification. If phase 1 tactics fail, stay incognito but make throughly loathesome proclamations like "caveat emptor!" or "The framing job alone costs $500." Suggest that the buyer gets what they pay for and "at least it looks pretty." No one can argue with good old-fashioned common sense.

3) Phase 3: Explain yourself and plead your case. If it comes to it, go ahead and blow your cover. Proclaim that your did seconds if not years of research on these autographs, even if you haven't looked at the pickguard even once between the time you purchased it and took the grainy photo with your LG Rumor cell phone for Ebay. Proclaim the profound merit of of your "Certificate of Authenticity" by noting that only qualified experts owning an inkjet printer (or in close proximity of a Kinkos) issue such ironclad documents.

4) Phase 4: Full aerial assault. The worst has happened - your item has been pulled from Ebay and your dreams of owning a pimped out Mustang just went down the toilet. Okay, forget all that education, maturity and tact you learned between failing your GEDs and your second stint in jail. Actually, forget the topic at hand all together. You know what, while you're at it, forget how to type, spell, or use even marginally acceptable grammar from the English language. Lay it out there, all in CAPS. The more you sound like an irate 14 year old, the more your audience takes notice. Use profanity and vulgarity in such a manner that you elicit only hysterical laughter and/or confusion as to your age and orientation. Frequent use of "LOL" in your tirades has the benefit of making you appear not only guilty, but insane. Nothing like killing two birds with one stone.

1 member likes this

Comment by Carl Ryan on July 9, 2013 at 7:56pm: AHHHH HAHAHA!!! Thanks for the laugh Rich, that was great, and by the book true!!

Comment by Travis Christenberry on July 9, 2013 at 8:43pm: I think somewhere, maybe between Phase 3 and Phase 4, you forgot to put "start threatening everyone on AML with lawsuits".

Comment by Rich on July 9, 2013 at 8:54pm: Yeah, I believe I did intend to throw that it but couldn't think of anything particularly snarky.

Comment by Travis Christenberry on July 9, 2013 at 9:16pm: Ha! Yeah, snarkiness is the key.

Comment by A.B. on July 10, 2013 at 12:18am: LOL ;-)

Comment by wascher on July 10, 2013 at 3:01pm: We really need to lose the personal lingo such as "moron", "idiot", "loser" etc., and/or actually stating they are the forgers themselves if we don't know this for sure. I also think some of the ways these items are being presented creates a hostile environment in the way they are worded. If a person truly did not know their item was bad, to come here to an already hostile environment creates hostility back. And it gets kinda ugly in here sometimes--we all know that. It's also nice to see someone come in and say they really didn't know, and can you help me learn.

Yes 99% of the people know their items are bad. But IF they don't........ and they show up because they found out their name was being slammed, how should they react/respond to a hostile post about themselves?

And then there's the other side to this. Other folks viewing the threads that are not involved.

I've been contacted by several people over the last few days about it.

I'll let you see some of what I've rec'd. (And please don't jump to conclusions.... these people have not been involved in any of the recent threads)

"I'm new to the board. Also, I'm new to the hobby. I found you guys after doing a google search and have enjoyed reading and learning a bit about this new "hobby" of mine. The issue I have is an attempt to understand what occurred (on some of the threads)" - I edited the actual thread out for the sake of being general

Being new here and to the hobby I do not know the history of issues within the industry. I don't know the players, I don't know who wears a white hat and who wears a black hat. I don't know who sued who or who got convicted for what." "......or members of this site blaming people for buying autographs on eBay and not having "common sense" it makes it very hard to post anything as a "newbie". I don't want my views being hammered if I wander into some crap that went down in the past and have no idea that I even ventured into that no man's land. How would I know?"

"It makes it very hard to post anything except a photo and ask "Is this authentic?" That is a part of what I came here for but I'd also like to get to know people that have the same interest as I do. Getting hammered isn't a part of that. Also, that makes for a very boring experience.

I hope you can understand my concerns. I don't want to step on people's toes....."

And another....

"Maybe the guy knows the item is a forgery, maybe he doesn't. However, watching/reading the stuff/posts in the thread by members here is really disturbing. It is one thing to make a statement about your belief of whether or not an auto is authentic but to read the opinions expressed in such vile ways"

"...while I like the site I'm finding myself more and more not wanting to post anything and may cause me to turn away from the site. "

*********************

So how do we fix this, yet continue to fight forgeries AND still educate those coming onto the forum? I know you guys are passionate about this. I know your steaming mad and want to stop someone else from getting a bad deal. But there has got to be better way to communicate.

Coming up with rules for the site is damn difficult. Because we want everyone to be respectful to each-other here, but then its also maddening to see all the forgeries and/or people simply make themselves out to be _(fill in the blank)_ and its hard not to poke fun.

But think about how the posts sound to others.... it will help the forum to be more appealing and those educated in signatures can still call out the forgeries without getting personal.

Just my two cents.

Comment by Rich on July 10, 2013 at 4:12pm: I think there is a lot to be said for tactful, concise, competent writing. Obviously, there's another site that has adopted a tone so hateful and devoid of facts that it's amusingly juvenile and just about impossible to take seriously. Unfortunately, some members (self included) have fallen into that trap on occasion. It tends to happen with areas of the hobby we're especially passionate about or when the foul is so blunt that the immediate response is to proclaim it as loudly as possible.

Comment by wascher on July 10, 2013 at 4:43pm: I have found many of the discussions entertaining (and a lot of them made me laugh).... it's sort of like watching a comedy show at times. People are so predictable when caught in a lie/scheme.

But yes, I think we do need to rethink some of the way we post and how harsh it can sound to others. And I'm not aiming anything at you personally Rich, your a great guy.

In general--your blog is what happens here a lot. No two ways about it. :)

Comment by Rich on July 11, 2013 at 9:54am: I forgot to include the "nuclear warhead finale" response. That is typically a last ditch effort to discredit anyone with any competence in a particular area or even the entire hobby. Responses include:

*"No one really knows whether it's real or not because they weren't there." That one's particularly stupid, because it begs the question of why they're selling it at all.

*"What are your credentials, how are you can expert?" As though there is a doctorate in Micky Mantle autographs. The people with some of the biggest "credentials" can be some of the worst figures in the hobby since they sometimes lazily abuse their power. Regardless, it is a tough one to answer - who really knows what and to what extent? It's not as clear cut as we'd like it to be.

*"You guys are pathetic and need to get a life. I don't spend all my time on this stuff." Better than being lazy, incompetent, indifferent and potentially ripping off someone because of it.

Comment by Peter Lougheed on July 12, 2013 at 5:56am: You forgot...when you run out of excuses, go quiet and hope everone on the board loses interest, then relist your forgery.