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How to handle a dispute? Please let me know your thoughts!

Hi everyone!

I would really appreciate your help regarding a transaction I’ve made with a trusted dealer (with a long experience of buying & selling) in a FB group where we can’t agree on a fair solution for both parties. I think it is most fair to not name either the dealer or the FB group and just focus on the facts.

Ok, here is the full (long) story: I sold two autographs for $520 to him and he got to choose if he wanted to pay a higher sum with Goods&Service or a lesser sum with Friends&Family, he chose to pay F&F. I then asked him if he wanted the package marked with a low value to avoid custom fees and he said yes to this. (See photo 1&2)

In my opinion both these choices were made to save the buyer money but both choises comes with a higher risk involved, which the buyer for sure knew since he has a long experience in the autograph community. I have myself bought lots of items where the sellers have marked the package low to save me from custom fees, always with the understanding that it means that it will not be insured and that I, as the buyer, will take the hit if something happens. I have always thought that was kind of a mutual understanding among collectors when marking an item with a low value.

The package was then shipped with trackingnumber and is trackable from me in Sweden to the buyer in the US. There is no way for me to put a $15 value on an item and then insure it for $520, since both shipping and insurance are bought from the same person at the postal office.

Unfortunally this time the package got lost, the US postal service has done an investigation and can’t find it.

The result of the buyers two choises above is that neither paypal (can’t use its buyer and seller protection since the payment was done with Friends&Family) or the swedish postal service (since it was marked with a low value) will cover for the lost package, meaning that if refunded I will take the full hit.

In my opinion I asked the buyer what he wanted, he got to decide what would be best for him and then I did as we agreed on. And now he still says this is all on me and that I should refund him all the money. I have offered him a 50% refund to be fair, although I tecnically don’t have to since he chose to pay with Friends&Family. And to be honest, the way he’s behaving I’m thinking of just block him and give him nothing back!!

When trying to explain this to the buyer he said that I was totally wrong and that he would make a thread on FB where he would ask the members for their opinion and according to him these replies would then determine how we settle this. But for some reason (!!!) he didn’t mention anything about him chosing Friends&Family and a low value on the package, that I shipped with trackingnumber and that I despite this still have offered him a 50% refund. If I didn’t know better it’s almost as if he did that on purpose to get the answers he wanted… He then uses the answers from the (misled) members to push me to refund him. And when contacting me with the results he for some reason only attach screenprints from the members that agrees with him, not everyone who doesn’t…

And now it has gone so far that he makes ”hidden threats” against me, saying that he will make a public post if I doesn’t fully refund him.

To get advices I’ve asked several of my long time collector friends how to handle this and one would refund even though he thinks the blaim isn’t on me, two would try to find a solution that both are happy with and the last three said that I shouldn’t refund anything, that the buyer fully knew what he was doing.

I have sold hundreds of autographs over the years and there have never been any problems until this autumn were two packages got lost at the same time. But the other had been marked with a correct value so after a long discussion with the swedish postal service (they never makes it easy) they finally covered the lost package and I could refund the seller and that situation got resolved. But the above is a very unfortunate situation for me. Here’s a link to some feedback I recieved at Autograph Magazine Live when selling here: https://live.autographmagazine.com/forum/topics/member-gogo?xg_source=activity

I would greatly appreciate your thoughts about this situation. Thank you for helping and take care!

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Imo, a seller has complete control of a sale. Just because a potential buyer makes a proposition doesn't mean you have to accept it. You leave yourself open to situations like this. 

And that was why I first offered a 50% refund, since we both have a part in this situation. 

Yes, no doubt about this Mikex.  Seller is in the driver's seat and is responsible for a sale.

Yes, I was in the driving seat and I decided to let the buyer decide how he wanted it and then followed his wishes…


But I’ll stop beating this dead horse now, since we clearly can’t agree on this and that’s not a problem at all! I asked for your opinion and I really appreciate your help!

Having said all of this....I hope this works out so that both of you can feel at least o.k. with the result!

Thank you, much appreciated!

You need a mediator you both agree on. You don't want it to escalate. It won't end well otherwise.

I’m not overly worried about that to be honest. I know what I have done and I know what he has done and have it all documented. I just want to do the right thing, but being fair must aply to the both of us!

Will he only settle for a full refund?

If so, what is his reasoning.

If you're certain it's lost, you could offer him 50% plus he can have the item and keep the refund.if it turns up. He probably would anyway.

Yes, he claim he is entitled to a full refund and that everything falls on me…

He claims I did mark it with a low value without him agreeing, which is bullcrap since I have the communication saved and attached in my original post. 

And that is without even mention that it was him who choose to pay via F&F.

The problem now for me is that in all likelihood the item will show up with delays of months for deliveries. If he gets a 50% refund and it shows up he wins and Cogo has no items and half the money that was agreed.

I'd agree to a 50% refund within 30 days and tell him you will go no higher and if he fails to agree to the terms you will block him and give him nothing

Appreciate your advice my friend!!

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