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Authenticity is Everything
David Crosby is a D**k !
The first story I ever wrote for Autograph Magazine was called “David Crosby Flipped me the Byrd.” I was proud of it. I simply asked for his autograph, he was rude, and I had some choice words for him. He had a choice finger for me. It was the middle one. As he walked away, I told him he should be more worried about his drug use, as he got a kidney transplant for that reason, and continued to use (I know that because of an arrest at a hotel in which he had drugs and guns).
I’ve written before about the many other people that have been turned down by him for autograph requests, and how he wished testicular cancer on some that asked him. These haven’t just been people at his tour bus. Some were backstage at his concerts; DJs from local radio stations that play his music.
Well, I thought about all those stories when I heard the news that Crosby ran over a jogger in his car yesterday. No, it wasn’t drugs. He passed all the sobriety tests, and it turned out to be the sun getting in his eyes (and the jogger being on the wrong side of the road).
He called 911 and screamed “I hit a guy!” And explained it how the glare of the sun got in his eyes. I’m guessing though, if the guy ever asked for his autograph, that was probably the reason he hit him with his car.
It happened in wine country – Santa Ynez, California, near where Crosby resides. He was going 50 mph in a 55 zone, so speeding wasn’t a factor, either.
The jogger was airlifted to a hospital in Santa Barbara, where he has a number of injures, but none that are life threatening.
Since I last wrote about Crosby, I did find out another crazy story involving him. I met a teenager that’s a musician, and he mentioned Crosby being one of his favorite artists. For a guy that started out in the ‘60s with The Byrds, and then Crosby, Stills, and Nash…that surprised me. Turns out, this guys dad was a good friend of his. In fact, Crosby even performed at his fathers wedding. His dad was also a pilot, and flew Crosby to various locations. He explained that they had a falling out because Crosby kept getting weirder and weirder, and started accusing his dad of stealing from him. He said that many of Crosby’s friends had distanced themselves from him because of how paranoid and bizarre his behavior had become.
I couldn’t resist asking the kid if he ever got his autograph. He said, “Yeah, a few times, but even with me, he was always weird about it.”
So I’m guessing Crosby will pay a visit to the guy at the hospital. But if the jogger asks him to sign the cast over any broken bones…that’s probably not going to happen.
Titles for possible David Crosby parody songs, from the band CROSBY, STILLS, and CRASH:
--Almost Killed a Jogger Today
--Suite: Damn Sun in My Eyes
--Just a Jog Before I Go
--Teach the Joggers Well
--Pre-Jogger Down
--Eight Miles High..the Jogger flew into the sky…
(the above photo is a real street sign warning people of attacks by birds; I think it can also be used to warn joggers of being attacked by “Byrds”)
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Comment by Robert Chase on March 25, 2015 at 10:56am
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Hello!
I'm new to AML. I guess I should add my David Cranky I mean Crosby story. I met him one on one before a performance here in Rhode Island. I asked him if he could sign a couple of albums for me. He paused, looked aggitated and grabbed the 2 albums and Sharpie from me. He looked at me again and decided to quiz me. His question was who wrote Carry On? To be honest- I do know the song and alot of their music, but I didnt know who wrote it. I through out a name and it was wrong-he hands the albums back and tosses the pen at me and says "your no fan" He walked away. This whole situation caught me off guard. There is a positive side to this story. After he walked away, I looked at my albums and noticed he signed one of them. It was nice of him to sign one, but the experience with him was not pleasant.
He should walk this earth feeling like he is one of the luckiest people. We have supported his career by buying his records and going to his concerts. More than the fame and money he should be grateful for the biggest gift you could ever recieve-LIFE
Carry on
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Comment by Coachgd on March 25, 2015 at 5:03pm
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I see that David is touring solo this summer. I was going to make the trek to PA to try and get him on my Deja Vu lp. I wonder if his attitude has changed since his accident? Probably not. I think I'll save myself the trip. Thanks Josh!
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Comment by Ian Baldock on March 25, 2015 at 5:25pm
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Thank you Josh, welcome Robert. I think the guy is consumed with thinking people just want to sell his autograph. I hope this makes him more humble but sadly I have my doubts.
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Comment by Josh Board on March 26, 2015 at 11:27pm
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In one of the early pieces I wrote on this jerk, here's what I said to him. There was a crowd of 8 people waiting when the bus pulled up. Two of the couples looked to be in their 50s or 60s, and had tie-dyed, CSN shirts on. One kid had a Woodstock shirt (he was about 12). He walked over to us and pointed his finger at us, saying "You're all autograph dealers, and not real fans, so you won't be getting autographs." Now seriously, who would approach a crowd like that? And, does he really think the ebay dealers are buying shirts of CSN, just to "fool" them?
Now, as crazy as it sounds, I like the quizzing approach. It's awesome, actually. Weed out the real fans from the dealers. BUT (and this is a "big butt")...you have to ask the right questions. Some aren't obsessed with liner notes and who wrote what song. So he could say "Name your two favorite albums I appear on?" That is vague enough...and...even if you are caught "off guard" you should be able to name "Deja Vu" and "Suite Judy Blue Eyes" or you could be funny and say "Greatest hits" or at the very least, it gives you time to say something like "I make mix tapes with my favorite songs, so I forget which albums, but I love Wooden Ships, and 'Our House' is just a wonderful ballad."And a conversation like that should make somebody say "Okay, you know the stuff."
Now, I'm such a smart-ass, if he would've asked me who wrote "Carry On" I would've said "Isn't that the band Kansas?" And as he walked away, I'd say "oh wait...that was Carry on My Wayward Son. Give me another chance. You're the guy that sings 'White Christmas' right? Oh crap, that's Bing Crosby. Wait, Wait...come back!!!!!"
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Josh! I like that, LOL. I think after listening to the David Cranky stories and having my own experience with him the real picture is clear. I believe it doesnt matter to Crosby wether your selling his signature, wether your a fan or even if your his best friend. It's all about him finding a way to unleash something on you. He uses his fans as a tool for this anger-it's a set-up. There could be something else going on here. I know that pain medication over a long period can mess up your personality. It can make you irritable and cranky-did i say cranky again. Ok! i'm starting sound like David's doctor. Lets leave him alone now.
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Comment by Rich on March 30, 2015 at 12:20pm
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What is it with washed up, cranky old codgers from the 60's and 70's? Didn't make enough money off their fans? If you don't want to sign, then don't. Don't attack your fans.
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Hello Rich!
He should at least be a Happy Cranky Old Codger-I will have to look up the word Codger. Sounds right anyway.
Help! Does anyone have a happy Cranky Pants Story?
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I hope Cranky Codger doesn't read this-I'm in big trouble. At least he can't do a visual on me-my picture to the left looks like Zorro.
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Comment by Steve Viola on April 4, 2015 at 7:32am
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Ive seen David refuse a little old lady with his autobiography once. He just walked right by us & her. It was sad to see.
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WOW! even little old ladies. Theres just no stopping him. Watch out! Some of those little old ladies can throw a mean left hook. The uppercuts can be nasty as well.
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