There's nothing worse then coming home from having a cigar with my buddies, and listening to my wife complain that I smell like smoke. I'm told to take my clothes off and...throw them in the backyard and light them on fire because they stink. I feel like Sissy Spacek in Silkwood, being checked for radiation poisoning and being banished to the shower.
What makes it worse is when she has the show Jeopardy! on. That's because she knows about 80% of the answers. I know about 10%. Even more frustrating when it was an autograph collection. Here it was:
Not realizing he was fleeing from the KGB autograph hounds chased this dancer as he ran out a Toronto stage door in 1974....
Answer: Mikhail Baryshnikov.

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