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Missed Opportunities -- The Autographs That Slipped Through My Fingers

We all have those stories about the person we approached for an autograph and got turned down. I thought I'd do a slightly different blog on this. It's the autographs I didn't get, because of something that was my own fault. They'll be in a random order, of how they come to me.

While working in radio in the early '90s, Pete Townshend was coming to La Jolla, only 15 minutes from my radio station, to work on what would be the live version of Tommy. I got press credentials and was told I'd have 15 minutes in which to interview him. I knew I couldn't bring all my Who albums, but I brought my favorite Annie Lebowitz photo. I figured one autograph wouldn't be a problem. Well, I couldn't find the theatre. I drove around and around the UCSD campus and couldn't find it, so I just went home. Then at the opening of the play, all 3 members of The Who walked out of their limo. I had a Who CD with me, but I choked up and felt rude asking them.

Getting nervous doesn't really happen to me, but the vibe just felt weird. Lots of rich people in suits, on opening night, and I panicked. I didn't want to be "that guy."

Justin Timberlake, well, I've never been a fan of his dance tunes. He's a decent actor, though. He was playing a small club in town (House of Blues) and since a Rolling Stone magazine I had gotten recently had him on the cover, I figured I'd bring it down for an autograph. I was telling one of my autograph buddies and he said, "I got him in San Francisco. He said to me, 'You're the only guy waiting here to meet me. Are you gay or something?" He felt weird with him asking that, but told me Timberlake said "I'm just messin' with ya" and signed his CD.

So, I see a long line of people waiting to get into the venue. I'm at the side, where the musicians enter. A security guy comes out that was about 6'5" all muscle, and no neck. I hear him say "Okay, so he's arriving in two minutes, right?"

I take out my Sharpie, pop the cap off, and I conveniently hide it by my side. If people see ya standing there with a pen, it's not good form. They make sure to avoid you. I open the magazine like I'm reading it. So....three black Cadillac Escalades pull up. He gets out, with about 4 body guards. He slowly walks right by me, nods his head. I nod my head. But...I didn't ask for the autograph. I'm not really sure why. And the worst part? The Sharpie made this huge black mark all over my jeans.

A similar thing happened to me at the same venue. I'm a huge Joan Jett fan. I had gotten her before at a signing she was doing, where you paid $5 for a photo (can't beat that price). Well, I brought the one album I had (which is signed by the photographer of the album cover, the well known Mick Rock). It's the "I Love Rock n Roll" record. Also brought a CD. Well, the last time I saw her, she had blonde hair. So, I walk to the venue and she's walking out. But, it looked like the old Jett, with jet black hair (no pun intended), so I wasn't sure it was her. She said hi to me, I said hi back. She yelled back asking where the driver was. I was trying to figure out if it was her or not. There was about 10 seconds of us standing there, and the one thing I hate is...asking somebody for an autograph that IS NOT the person I thought it was. So I wanted to be sure. It wasn't until she jumped into the limo that I realized...yes, that was her, you dumb ass!

At that same House of Blues, I had no intention of getting KISS guitarist Peter Chris. There are about 250 bands I like more than KISS, although I do own a few albums. It's my friends favorite band, so I brought him up there and assured him we'd get the autograph.

So, we show up. The only place to park was metered. After waiting an hour, I needed to go put more change in the meter about four blocks away (one of my autograph buddies always gets parking tickets, which to me, makes the whole experience not worth it). While I was gone, he rolled up with his dad, in a sporty Mercedes. He told the crowd of 10 "Only one autograph per person." My friend was stoked to get his solo album signed. I was ... not as stoked. I walked up after he was already in the venue. His dad stood outside, holding court with the few fans left. Well, he really hit it off with one dude that had a bunch of albums. He brought that guy backstage and got all his albums signed. I got nothing.

Guitar legend Jeff Beck. I had gotten him at two venues in the past. One of those was because I was backstage in L.A. He wasn't the friendliest (but he has a sweet signature, and he's an amazing guitarist, although sometimes too jazzy for my tastes). Well, one time I showed up downtown and I was with my Maltese. I had adopted him at the shelter a few months previously, and was walking him around. I see him walk by me downtown. I wasn't positive it was him, until he got closer. He smiled, and I smiled. I was going to say, "Are you Jeff Beck?" I didn't, and didn't get he signature. I did watch as he walked down the block, and hopped into the tour bus. An hour later...he came out of the bus, there were 25 fans, and he waved, but didn't stop to sign for anybody. I have no doubt he would've signed for me and my puppy.

Now, with the NAMM festival recently wrapping up in Anaheim (it's a convention for music merchants, and lots of musicians show up). My friend went, and got Aerosmith guitarist (I got their drummer one year there), Twisted Sister, and a few other heavy metal guitarists he likes. Well, I saw funk legend George Clinton of Parliament Funkadelic. Well, he's walking around with his different colored hair, and I remembered this guy Darrell I worked with, telling me that's his favorite all-time singer. So, I asked for an autograph for him. He personalized it, and drew a cool caricature of himself, with X's over the eyes. It was awesome. Well, I decided later...I wanted his autograph, too. At that point, I couldn't find him. The weirdest part of that was...when I gave the autograph to Darrell, he didn't seem to care all that much. He gave a nonchalant "Hey, thanks," after first asking if it was real.

Kenny Rogers -- not the biggest fan, but he's a country music legend. I had free tickets, and went and bought a $1 album at a used record store. My friend went with me. We waited an hour. I went to my car to get something, and during that few minutes, his manager came out and said, "If you guys give me your stuff, I'll take it on the bus. He'll sign one for each of you."

I came back, with my friend excitedly telling me this. When the manager came back out, handing them their stuff, I asked if he'd take my record on the bus. He said, "No. I can't keep doing this all afternoon."

Norah Jones had come out with an amazing, jazzy first album. I immediately bought it. Well, when she came to town, at a rather small venue, I brought the CD. Again, I had to feed the meter, and that's when she showed up and signed autographs. This time, I had given my CD to a friend of mine in case she showed up. So, she did sign it and personalize it for me. Problem was...when I was at the show that night, it fell out of my back pocket. Now, I'm not sure how in the hell I got this lucky, but a sound guy at that venue that knew me, found it on the floor, and saved it for me. A few months later, he said "I got something for you." I was thrilled when he handed it over.

Now, he had gotten me a few autographs. Since he worked at the venue, I didn't like to use him that much. A few times, I hooked him up with nice gift cards, or one time, I bought him 25 cases of a variety of beer (it cost me well over $100). I wanted him to know I appreciated all the hook ups (Brian Wilson and Mike Love said no, but he took my record back and got it signed...only to have their manager scream at him saying "That guy is an autograph dealer, not a fan."). So, I liked to show my appreciation. Well, a few bands he got signed for me (Nick Cave and Cat Power -- they personalized it. TO HIM! Oh well).

At the TV station I do movie reviews on, local football legend Marshall Faulk was coming in. He had come in a handful of times, and this time I was determined to get him. I show up, wait in the green room. I brought a friend who is a huge Rams fan, and he had a football signed by 7 players. We were both so excited. Well, a black man comes into the green room to sit down. They tell him his segment will be in 20 minutes. I ask if he'll sign my football card. He looks at me rather angrily and says, "I'm not Marshall Fault." I laughed, thinking he was pulling my leg. He said, "Really, I'm not."

Turns out, he was the guest before Fault, and boy did he look a lot like him. We waited another hour, only to find out Faulk forgot that he had a previous engagement. So, we woke up, drove down, and embarrassed ourselves for nothing.

Tags: Cat Power, George Clinton, Jeff Beck, Joan Jett, Kenny Rogers, Kiss, Marshall Faulk, Nick Cave, Pete Townshend, Peter Criss, More…The Who

2 members like this

Comment by Brian on January 30, 2016 at 1:36pm: In the 90s, I occasionally worked at a club as a runner or for load-ins. I wasn't much of a collector then. Plus, working for the club I didn't feel comfortable asking for autographs while "on the clock". But I worked a WASP/Motorhead show and had so much downtime during load-in because WASP and their crew didn't have their s*** together. Lemmy was in the club playing video games waiting for their soundcheck. I don't think he would've been annoyed if I had asked him to sign something. But, I was 20-something and in the same room as Lemmy. It was just cool to be there. But still...

Comment by Terry G. on January 31, 2016 at 7:47pm: I'm a huge Springsteen fan- seen him 72 times in concert, and in a few weeks will add even more to that total, lol. He is squarely at the top of my "want-to-meet-and-get-autograph" list. I've been outside venues seeking his autograph many, many times, and came close 3-4 times. But this one time...

I fly up to Maine (from Florida) for a class reunion. I stay overnight in Portland, at a hotel in the Old Port. I go out for lunch, craving some great Maine seafood. Go to a nice place in the Port, has an outside patio where I can sit and enjoy the sun. Grab a copy of the local indie newspaper, and am reading it as I wait for my order of fried clams, with a cold beer. I hear two people walk by the patio, then stop by the front door. I look over and they are reading the menu posted outside, and dammit, the woman with the red hair looks familiar but I can only see her from the side. Whatever, I go back to reading. Then I hear the guy speak and instantly, I KNOW I know the voice. It's freaking Springsteen!! I look over to see them both walking away- Bruce and his wife. So, of course, I begin to panic- the biggest star in the world to me has literally been dropped in my lap for the autograph picking! Then I realize I have nothing on me for him to sign. I quickly calculate how far away my hotel is (too far) where I have a CD that I had listened to on the plane, lol. I remember that the Old Port has a used record shop, it's about a block and a half away, so I run. I run hard and fast, hit the door of that shop and announce to everyone in there that I need Springsteen and I need him NOW! The owner doesn't even flinch, points to the right side, and I dash over, find the Bruce section and grab Born To Run & Darkness, run up front, throw a $20 on the counter and run out the door- the owner yells at me "your change, you forgot your change'...I keep running, and head back towards the restaurant. I run around the street, looking for them, but I can't find them. I figure they must have gone into a place to eat, so I begin to methodically eliminate each restaurant by either staring into the windows or actually walking in and looking if I couldn't see clear enough. Nothing, couldn't find them. Then I hit all the shops, one by one, again, nothing. I'm freaking out- if somebody had shot video of me that day, they would have images of a wild-eyed, sweaty, insane idiot running frantically all along one of the most popular tourist destinations in Maine, running in and out of buildings, holding two record albums. I'm sure that if the police would have seen me, I would have been detained for public safety. So now I'm scared that I have lost the opportunity forever- I find a bench right smack dab in the middle of the area and park myself on it, hoping they will reappear. Two and half hours later, nothing. I'm now talking to myself, calling myself names like "moron" and "idiot"....and then, and only then, do I remember that I ran out of the restaurant without paying. So I go back, pay the poor waitress and give her a massive tip, re-order my friend clams to go and head back the hotel, to eat them sadly in my misery.

The next morning, I pack up to check out, to head back to my hometown for the reunion, and as I open the door, the hotel had left me a newspaper. I picked it up, threw it in my bag and went down and checked out. Drive up north to my parents house, spend some time with the family, go out with some friends that night, get home late. Sit down and grab that newspaper to read the sports page, and as I unfold it, right there on the front page, is a picture of Bruce Springsteen and his wife Patti Scialfa, with a caption stating they were spotted shopping in the Old Port. As I look at the picture, I realize they were walking out of the front doors.....of the same hotel i stayed at....

Comment by Josh Board on January 31, 2016 at 8:25pm: Best. Story. Ever.

My girlfriend and I are seeing Springsteen in L.A. in a few months. It's her favorite singer (she's from Jersey, so...it's required).

Comment by Josh Board on January 31, 2016 at 8:53pm: You know what's weird? De Niro is notoriously shy. It's amazing to think he would say that. Great story, J. Seah!

Comment by Rich on January 31, 2016 at 9:04pm: Wow, wild story. Is Bruce really that hard? I mean, I know he isn't an easy autograph by any means, but I didn't realize he was quite that difficult. (I'm aware that 72 shows doesn't necessarily mean 72 autograph attempts though).

Comment by Josh Board on January 31, 2016 at 9:38pm: He's actually an easy autograph, for a star that big. Now, that doesn't mean outside huge stadiums and arenas. But...I had a friend run into him at an event in Los Angeles. He was walking through the crowd and signing for people that asked. I've heard a handful of in-person experiences and they've all been positive. Now...I have an amazing Springsteen story, that might be the best autograph story ever told. I was sworn to secrecy on it by the person that told me. I'm debating whether to tell it. It's sooooooo good.

Comment by Cogo on January 31, 2016 at 9:43pm: Come on Josh! Tell us!!!! :-)

Comment by Rich on January 31, 2016 at 9:48pm: I always thought that Bruce was maybe somewhat comparable to U2's Bono - despite that magnitude of his stardom, he's actually surprisingly not too difficult to meet at shows. But that's just sort of the sentiment I gauged.

Comment by Rich on January 31, 2016 at 10:03pm: I don't know if this is so much a missed opportunity as a "didn't want to push the envelope" type thing. The band Haim was on a fairly sharp ascent to stardom. After a show in Chicago a couple years back, a line of fans was waiting for them. Despite it being midnight and their tour manager stating that there was no way the sisters were going to stop - they did. But it was photos, not autographs, which kind of made sense because there was a good number of fans there. That being said, I'm pretty sure I saw Danielle Haim take a fan's vinyl and sign it for him anyway.

When I got up to them, I barely got a couple words out and Este Haim gives me a warm hug, just for coming to the show. They were all so sweet and I took a very nice photo op with them . . . so I didn't ask. Now they do seem to be a somewhat more difficult autographs now and their friendship and tour with Taylor Swift has even further boosted their popularity. But that that was just one of those times when it felt like maybe it would be a tad bit rude or greedy asking. Thought I have a strong suspicion they would have said yes, I'm not sure if it was worth it to be "that guy."