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Ebay Listing Trends That Make Me Nauseous

Anyone ever have any pet peeves about the way sellers list items on Ebay?  Whether they're red flags for forgeries or just all around annoying quirks, here are the things I can't stand to see in any Ebay auction:

1) "Guaranteed to pass PSA/JSA or any third party authentication."

I don't even know where to begin on this one.  From a personal standpoint, I don't have a particularly high amount of respect for any for the TPA's, so that assertion is inherently worthless to me.  The other problem is that it's just an empty comment due to it's over use.  Plenty of forgeries include this note, as though they're daring the buyer to even try to get it authenticated.

The other end of the spectrum isn't much better . . .

2) "PSA/DNA will say our items are forgeries because they're rotten, corrupt, incompetent, etc etc . . ."

Oh boy.  This one's even better.  Admitting that your items will fail TPA.  Next . . .

3) Longwinded stories about how you obtained in person the most clearly forged item on the planet.

A paragraph about how you and your dad met Zeppelin years ago ago does magically make your terrible forgery look more legit.  It just makes you look like a lying criminal.

4) A whole page dedicated to the celebrity's biography.

Seriously?  We clicked on this random autograph, having no idea who it is?  And now this seven paragraph bio is going to sell me on buying it?  I've seen this bizarre antic for years on Ebay and even seller websites (even legitimate, honest sellers), and I absolutely don't get it.  Waste of space at best.

5) Proof photos that prove nothing.

Some proof photos are thorough, clear, conclusive and fantastic evidence to support the autographed item's claim to authenticity.  Most are not.  The photos of Bruce signing in 1999 aren't going to convince me to buy your signed copy of Wrecking Ball.

6) Comes with an unnamed COA.

Ooooh.  Maaagic.

7) Comes with a COA from a company no one has ever heard of.

Filled out entirely by hand in a ball point pen no less.

8) "Rare!"

Contrary to popular belief, your Pete Rose signed baseball is not rare.

9) "Exact proof photos are shown . . . but you can't have them, no matter how much cash you drop on this thing."

This one really gets me.  If it's that EXACT photo getting signed, and I'm maying an arm and a leg for the luxury of this exact proof . . . then, yeah, I want the damned proof photo, too.  That's what screen shots are for, I guess.

10) "I've been collecting for 20, 30, 40 years . . ."

Wow. Really?  I haven't been collecting nearly that long, and I don't have a fraction of the forgeries you do.

Views: 527

Comment by Steve Zarelli on March 18, 2013 at 11:02am

Along those lines...

When you see a certain fake... the listing has all the other tricks and disclaimers... and they also end it with "Have a blessed day" or "God bless." It makes me sick using the smokescreen of being a spiritual person as a tactic to increase the appearance of honesty.

Comment by Rich on March 18, 2013 at 11:13am

Agreed.  Years ago, I had a friend who just struck me as too trusting of too many sellers.  He showed me a sports seller on ebay who was selling some of the ugliest Favre forgeries I've seen and explained to me he was a Christian.  Maybe, maybe not.  I doubt it, since everything he was selling looked like utter trash, even though he said he got it all in person.

Comment by Steve Viola on March 18, 2013 at 11:47am

I hate whole page biographies, especially on Elvis phony autographs,  'Elvis Presley, 1935-1977, known as the King Of Rock and Roll, etc.'  Oh really?   Man that annoys me.

Comment by Mark Roberts on March 18, 2013 at 12:27pm

So true in so many ways.   Great post!

Comment by Chad B on March 18, 2013 at 12:30pm

I don't mind the bios. I used them in the past for key words people might search by.

I also hate 9) "Exact proof photos are shown . . . but you can't have them, no matter how much cash you drop on this thing." A copy of the photo would cost $.10 and belongs with the item being signed.

Comment by CJCollector on March 18, 2013 at 3:30pm

That's a good one, Rich, and very true.

Comment by Rich on March 20, 2013 at 7:57am

I saw this auction this morning, and immediately thought of two more:

http://www.ebay.com/itm/BONO-U2-AUTOGRAPH-AUTO-AUTHENTIC-SIGNED-PSA...

*"My autograph is a genuinely terrible example on a plain piece of paper, but I consider it extra special so I'll price it at 10x its actual, real-life value."

*I can't think of a coherent item description, so here's some drug-induced poetry.

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