I hate much of the music that comes out today. Don't even get me started on that "Old Town Road" song, which might be the worst song I've ever heard in my life, yet it now has the distinction of being the longest #1 song in music history.
Yet there was a song I heard last year by rapper Lizzo that I think is kind of catchy. So when she was on The Today Show the other morning, I was watching. Well, after one song, I went to shave and take a shower. My wife told me, "You missed her trying to sign an autograph for a fan. They brought this girl out who had painted a picture of Lizzo, who was nude. They were talking about what a fan she was. So, they brought Lizzo over and she was freaking out. They gave her tickets to the show in New York, and then Lizzo takes the Sharpie to sign it, and as she's trying to sign it, it won't work. That's because it was pouring rain. So, the L in her name showed up, but...she promised they would fix it later. They even joked they would 'fix it in post'."
That reminded me of the time my friend went to get UB40 (Red Red Wine, Here I am, Falling in Love With You). He was the only person waiting for an autograph and two tour buses pulled up, and all 9 members of the band got out (one of them has since died, but I'm not sure which band member). As he took his Sharpie out, the drizzle had gotten it, and it no longer worked. Much to the bands credit, they all stood around the album, trying to get it to work, and they couldn't. They apologized, and he thanked them, and they went inside the venue.
I started doing that after I had a Sharpie with Paul Rodgers (Bad Company). It didn't work, and god bless his heart, he brought me into the club and we walked around, with him asking everyone if they had a pen. We were only able to find a ball point pen, but he signed the record with that (and you can see the Paul, barely written first in the Sharpie, which I'm sure someone, someday, will claim that that's a forgery, and you can see the attempt the person made).
That same friend should've learned his lesson about multiple pens. He had an ink pen for John Paul Jones (Led Zeppelin), and it exploded on his hand, with him getting angry and handing the item back to him saying, "This stuff is toxic! I don't want it on my hands."
He didn't get the autograph.
I'm not much of a Justin Timberlake fan, but he was playing at a venue that's easy for autographs, and he was on the cover of the Rolling Stone I had just gotten a few months earlier. I figured I'd go up and give it a try. A collector in L.A. told me Justin gave him a hard time, saying, "I don't sign for guys. Why would you want my autograph? Are you gay or something?" He did eventually sign for that guy, but that story was running around in my head.
I saw security sneak out, and quietly say into a phone, "I see his SUV, and we're here to meet him. Nobody else is around."
There were about 100 women, but they were lined up, farther down the building, where they wouldn't even notice this side entrance.
I popped the top off my Sharpie, and stood there with the Rolling Stone. Justin poped out of the SUV, surrounded by 3 bodyguards, all looking around. As they walked by me, Justin nodded his head. I nodded my head back. For some reason, I said nothing. The vibe of it all....just felt off. And as an adult, I didn't want to be saying his name. I was hoping he might just see the magazine in my hand and say, "Whatcha got there?"
So he walked by me, and...I realized I wasted an hour of my afternoon. And as I got into my car, I noticed the Sharpie had left a big black mark on my jeans. So....no autograph, but it was one time the Sharpie worked. A little too well.