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KISS Kronikles -- The Paul Stanley Edition

I’ve got some bad news, folks. I’ve been saying this for the last 8 years but…autographs are going to be harder and harder to get. It’s a mix of so many things. Paparazzi snapping pictures, or fans snapping pictures – and not knowing how their own cameras/cell phones work. That means the celeb you want a signature from has to spend even more time standing around being bothered. Add to all that the biggest thing that’s hurting us – the folks that sell this stuff on eBay and various auctions. The stars have gotten so turned off by it all, that they think there are only two kinds of people – the real fans, and the autograph dealers. They don’t realize there are also autograph collectors, who are fans as well. They see a handful of albums and just think you see money signs in your pupils.

That leads me into this latest bit of news. KISS lead singer Paul Stanley has been hawking his autobiography. He’s been on numerous shows, and hit many book stores. I’m not the biggest KISS fan. I have their Greatest Hits CD, and I think that’s all you really need in your collection. As a kid in the ‘70s, I was sick of all my friends wearing the KISS make-up on Halloween. That being said, I have seen them in concert a few times (in my defense, I worked at a classic rock radio station for 7 years, so…you get free tickets).

Yet since I had a few KISS CDs that were signed by other band members (I’ll be writing the next blog about all the Gene Simmons meetings over the years)…I figured it wouldn’t be complete without Mr. Stanley signing it.

Yet a friend of mine had met him after a few different concerts, and he always refuses to sign autographs. At book stores, if it’s a movie star or musician, they’re always putting signs up saying things like “no memorabilia signed, just books purchased here.”

There are ways you can get it done, but you have to say the right thing, and have your item out of sight until right before you get to the table. Yet I didn’t feel like driving 30 minutes to the bookstore, just to wait in a long line, and be turned down. Yet I know two women, who went to two different book stores, and I thought I’d see if they could get it done. After all, a friend of mine that worked at a radio station in Detroit told me how Paul Stanley showed him how he points out to the crowd, in a way that the roadies know which girls he wants brought backstage for him. I’m guessing that sending two beautiful women with CDs for signatures, would have better odds than this balding fan in his 40s.

On Thursday at the local bookstore, he showed up an hour late. The fans dressed up in their makeup, with white all over their face and a star painted over an eye, didn’t seem to mind. They were in line sharing stories about their favorite band. Yet with each person that approached, Paul and his people refused to sign anything else. He also wasn’t very friendly. One woman had a service dog, and he was rather rude to her. The woman that brought my CD was turned down, even though she said something to him that only a true fan would know.

The next day, Stanley did a book signing on the Miramar Base (where they filmed the movie Top Gun). The woman that brought my CD to that was sure she could get him to sign.

On the news that morning, Stanley mentioned a dollar from each book sold on the base, would go to a charity supporting the soldiers. That was great to hear. It was also great to hear one of the newscasters talk about the various things Paul Stanley signed for the crew at the station. Certainly if he’s signing for newscasters and cameramen that make a good living being on TV…he’ll sign for soldiers that fought for our country and have been injured in the field of battle.

Again, Stanley was late, but this time only half an hour. My friend thanked him for supporting the troops, and as her book was being signed, she handed him the CD. Somebody jumped in and said he wouldn’t sign it, but if she waited afterwards, when all the books were signed, they’d see if they had time. She sternly said to Stanley, “You signed for people at the TV station, I’d think you’d sign for the military personal that fight for this country.”

His jaw dropped, and he looked shocked. I told her this would happen and said if it did, tell them you don’t want the book.

She was prepared to return it, but a guy in line offered to buy it from her, so he wouldn’t have to wait. You see…the autograph collectors don’t get their items signed, but every person in line could walk around the table and spend 5 minutes trying to get the perfect picture. In regards to that, the woman standing with him said, “He may not sign your CD, but you can get a picture.”

She said she didn’t know how her phone camera worked and this woman said, “Well, we have a camera. We can take the photo.”

Just as she was preparing to do that, she asked the woman how she’d get the photo from her. This woman said, “Oh, well…we can’t get you the photo. We just take these for media and publicity purposes, not to give out to fans.”

To which my friend wondered…why even offer to take my picture then?

She waited an hour to get the CD signed for me afterwards (women are so damn sweet), but he just signed one autograph for a person in the crowd, and quickly jumped into his car and took off.

This is a lead singer who is missing an ear (true story), that I’d love to grab by his one good ear, and yell into it, “We made you guys very, very rich. You’re an average band with good pyro-technics on stage. And how hard would it be for your dumb ass to say “For every book you buy, you can have an additional item signed.”

One woman in line had purchased five books. Surely that should warrant a few of her other items signed.

So, I decided to take one of KISS’ biggest hits “Rock and Roll All Nite” and change the lyrics. Here it is.

You showed up to sell your book

You kept us waiting and the store got hot

You’re getting rich, but you drive us crazy.

You say only books you will sign

But you’ll party with these gals, if you like their behind

You drive me nuts, you must be crazy.

You kept us waiting, you kept us waiting

And I, wanna an autograph tonight

Just sign a few today.

I want an autograph tonight

You’ll only sign if you get paid.

I want an autograph tonight

You’re more concerned with getting laid!

You keep on saying how grateful you are

You act all fancy, but you have no style

You can sign for the fans, so stop being lazy

You wrote about everything you got

Stanley, Stanley, it’s all from us!

Return the favor, signing should be a must.

You keep on shouting, no autograph signing!

I, want an autograph tonight.

But you don’t care what we say.

I, want an autograph today

But you’re afraid they’ll be on eBay

I, want an autograph today

The Hall of Fame, I say the Hall of Shame!

And this I’ll keep shouting…yes, I’ll keep shouting!

Tags: Gene Simmons, KISS, Miramar Base, Paul Stanley, Rock and Roll All Nite, Top Gun

2 members like this

Comment by Xwiesy on April 24, 2014 at 9:07pm: Their catalog is pretty weak in comparison to the love they get.

Comment by Josh Board on April 24, 2014 at 10:59pm: I agree, Xwiesy. A few good songs, but highly overrated.

Thank you to EVERYONE commenting here. I friggin loved the lunch box story. That, right there, tells you all you need to know. A photo like that is not going to be sold, and they wouldn't sign it.

With all due respect, I have to say something. WAKE UP, PEOPLE!!!! It is not the security or bookstore that is rude. IT's them!!!! Who do you think is telling them to do that? It's good cop/bad cop, and you're doing exactly what they want you to do. THINK it's the bookstore, while they simply raise their hands and say "Our hands are tied here, they won't let us."

When I met the White Stripes (a band with half the members, and a thousand times the talent), Meg White (drummer) was walking with a huge security guard. He pushed me away, and she looked over, and said "Oh no, he's cool. I'll sign for him. He's a real fan." (we had talked earlier, and she came over). The people can ALWAYS override their security, and will.

If it's a time constraint, for the love of god, stop letting people walk around the table to take the picture. In the time somebody does that, these guys can literally sign 10 items!!!! So they could always say "You get a photo, or an extra item signed, for each book you buy." It's that simple. They just don't care about the fans. They are obsessed with YOU not making money of signed memorabilia, and even that wouldn't be so bad...if they vetted it all better. A person with a lunch box photo -- isn't selling. A person with a star painted over their eye -- isn't an autograph dealer, but a fan.

Regarding the purchase of trademarks, Gene Simmons also purchased the money symbol. Very, very appropriate thing for him to own!!!!

The best example of his personality, is when he was on his reality show, and a guy won a charity auction and got to have lunch with him. The fan was thrilled, and talking the way fans do (fast, excited, etc). Gene kept rolling his eyes, and was rather rude. When the guy had an idea for some business relating to KISS items...Gene got mad. Walked away, called his agent, and told him to get him out of there. Now, how hard would it be to say "Well....we have people that work on all the items and things, I don't get as involved in that. Let's just enjoy the lunch man...tell me about a concert you went to and liked. Let's talk rock n roll!!!!" Instead, Gene took this as a shake-down of some kind, or a business meeting. What a dope. My next KISS KRONIKLE will be about my many meetings with Gene and his tongue.

Comment by Brian on April 25, 2014 at 3:58am: Just to clarify and I am certainly not sticking up for Gene & Paul here - but it wasn't the no photos/no memorabilia rules I found rude. It was how the Book-Ends staff enforced it. I talked to people that went to the Barnes & Noble signings, they had a much different experience. Same rules were enforced (some photos allowed at both) - but a much more pleasant experience. Thats why I put the rudeness on the bookstore.

But agreed, no one cares more about money and less about fans than Gene & Paul. I was born in '73 so I have a softspot for them - the toys, the lunchbox, the make-up - that was all cooler than the music. I have a greatest hits cd. I do love it, but thats all the Kiss music I need. One CDs worth.

Comment by Brian on April 25, 2014 at 4:01am: I liked Ace & Peter better anyways...

Comment by Chad B on April 25, 2014 at 7:44am: That lunch box photo is awesome. They need to start making shirts out of that material again. I had one when I was little.

I will stand up for KISS (for no reason other than to argue as I am only a half hearted fan). We, as autograph hunters, fans, autograph sellers/dealers, etc. can be a big pain in the ass to the celebs we like. If they are grumpy, rude or not whatever we think they should be, some of that can be forgiven. They have had people chasing them, using them and requesting things from them for thirty five years and I'm sure it can be trying at times regardless of the money and other benefits they receive. It does stink if they don't give us what we want or are rude but they really don't owe us anything. They have and are a successful product and the way they treat people and act will affect how well they do in the future. That is on them.

Comment by Josh Board on April 25, 2014 at 9:16am: Oh man, that photo is friggin adorable. But hey...you bring up a good point. That terry cloth material. We all had shirts made out of them as kids. Do they still and we just don't know about it, because we're adults????

The problem with blaming the bookstore is the same thing I tell my friends when they say "I don't mind the cop giving me a ticket for speeding, it's that the cop was rude." Well listen. IF the book store (or cop) were nice, what happens is you plead, and plead and beg to just let him sign "one thing for me!" If they snap, you know the answer is "no" and stop bugging them. Or they just get tired of having to tell people, with all the signage everywhere telling people no memorabilia will be signed. Again, it's Paul and Gene creating that rule, so they deserve the blame on how it's enforced.

When one of the Grateful Dead guys wrote a book, he was at a bookstore. Same signs. I am not a big Dead Head, but wanted something signed for a friend that was. Waited in the long line, and of course, brought an album. He didn't sign it, and he was super, super rude about it (talk about hippies and free love!!!) Yet, he signed an old Fillmore poster for somebody that showed him. He signed another persons yearbook, that had him in it. And what I liked about that (even though I wasn't on the receiving end of those autographs), is that you could show him the item, and talk about it. And at that point, he acted like a normal human being that said "Yeah, I'll sign that," as opposed to the guy that went to an old record store and bought five albums cheap, hoping to get them signed and then sell them.

Comment by Carl Ryan on April 25, 2014 at 11:04am: No autographs for you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Comment by Mark Roberts on April 25, 2014 at 12:16pm: Cool photo with the lunch box!

Mark

Comment by Peter C. on April 26, 2014 at 2:57am: Josh:
Sorry, but I dont agree with some points you made - and Im going to say why - and it will just show that mainly - I´m not usual collector. :)

I know that it´s just opposite for many of you here..... but I think that many artists feel that the obtained autograph should be somethling like "highlight moment" for fan. It should be special moment for you as fan, nothing like "routine". It should be outstanding experience and not like "fine I got 55 846th autograph my collection and this one is 3894th one of this artist/famous person"... Of course - its exaggerated but in fact - I see a problem not only with autograph dealers, but also with guys who are getting autograph for autograph itself - and not for that experience "wow I met one of my heroes!" I think that this is how artists feel that. This is why I think that setting the rules what you (as artist) are signing on public autograph sessions and how many items per person do you sign is completely correct. I´m not Kiss fan and I have huge doubts about their Meet&Greet for hillarious prices, but this was public signing in bookstore (probably as promotion dedicated to some book release) - and then I think that its completely correct to sign just and ONLY that book bought in the store - and nothing else.... Real fan of artist is happy because he still got the chance to meet his hero and autograph as reminder of this meeting.

Now I´m not even talking about ethical issues of autograph dealers. :)

Comment by Brian on April 26, 2014 at 5:24am: Josh, I do have to respectfully disagree on some of what you said. Gene & Paul make the rules, agreed. I should've been more precise, but not EVERY bookstore employee was rude. The loudest, rudest guy (maybe he was the owner or manger, no idea) really set the tone. If he was instructed by G&P to act that way, why were there no reports of the token rude employee at the other signings? For me, I don't really care. I was getting a G&P signed book for $30. Thats a good deal. I'll deal with an unpleasant store & 5 hour line for my 12 seconds in front of G&P to get an autograph I KNOW is real. I also agree with what Peter C. said - I don't mind "rules" at signings like this. If I did, I could've stayed home. The rules were announced well in advance. I don't blame the STORE for blocking G&P from signing the photo. Thats all on G&P. I've liked Kiss since I was 7 - heres the photo to prove it. Did I think they'd care? Hell no! But it was worth a shot. For what its worth, Ace & Peter signed the photo at conventions. They could've said "wow, you've been a fan for a long time and this item has zero re-sell value (except selling it to your mom), so I won't charge you for THIS one, especially since you're already paying for a few other items to get signed". But, I offered money and they took it. I'm totally cool with that. Kiss are about rockin' out and gettin' paid. Not necessarily in that order.

I assume the Grateful Dead guy (which one? just curious) figured anyone could go buy an LP. Exceptions were made for fans with unique or valuable things. Maybe he assumed they were more of a fan for that. I'd like to think if you had a childhood photo of you in a Dead shirt, he would've signed it. Who knows.

Bottom line I think we can all agree on - Gene & Paul love money WAAAY more than the fans.

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