My Stupidest Blog Ever -- AUTOGRAPH DREAMS

I have a lot of autograph dreams. Over the years, I'd say I've had about 25 (that I can remember). Now, I'm not talking about an upcoming person I'm going to get. I've had so many times where I was going to interview somebody famous, or meet them at the venue...I didn't have a dream about that. I'm not sure why, but I only have dreams about getting autographs from dead celebrities. It's friggin' baffling to me. Not sure what Freud would say about that.

Last night, I had a dream that I was getting Jimi Hendrix to sign some things. My wife had told me about him being at a record store, and we showed up. She got mad at me, because the signs said, "He'll only be signing his new book," and I brought one CD and one album. She was begging me not to hand them to him at the table, but I did. He smiled and said, "Yeah man, I dig it. I'll sign these. But my first name only."

I looked down, and he signed the CD and the album, and it's the exact "Jimi" signature we've seen so many times. I then immediately said to myself...wait a second! Hendrix died in 1970. This must be a dream. And I woke up.

I had a dream I was meeting The Doors before a concert. They all signed for me except Robby Kreiger, the guitarist. He just kind of mumbled something about how they had to get onstage, and his guitar still wasn't signed. As I watched the concert from the side of the stage, wondering how I'd get it after the show...I woke up.

The Doors and Queen are two of my favorite bands. I've had a number of dreams about getting Queen to sign stuff, but the weirdest one (again, I'd hate to see what Freud would say about this), the band signed my "Night at the Opera" album. Perfect white background for signatures with a black Sharpie. I couldn't find Freddie Mercury, and somebody told me he was on the tour bus already. I went over there, and knocked on the door. That's strange, because I've never knocked on a tour bus door before. I've seen autograph collectors do that, and always cringe. I saw one road manager yell at a guy for doing that, too. Anyway, Freddie invites me on the bus. He looks at the album. He says something like, "This is going to be worth a lot after I sign it, mate. You realize that, right?"

I told him I knew that, but wasn't going to sell it, and how Queen is one of my favorite bands. He then asked if we could...do some stuff sexually before he signed the album. I said, "Oh come on, man. I'm not gay."

He laughed, and kept trying to talk me into it. He then had me pinned up against the wall (boy, this blog is starting to sound a lot like those letters Playboy and Penthouse used to run)....and I woke up. And as I laid there in bed thinking about that...I wondered how I would've handled that situation. I also know why I had that dream. The night before I read an interview with Bono of U2, and he talked about how Mercury had him pinned against a wall backstage, flirting with him. I think it was after one of the really big festival concerts like Live Aid.

Anyway, the conclusion I had was...I would either try to keep talking my way out of it, or I'd lie to him and say after he signed the album, I'd consider it. And once he signed the album, and as I was looking at it...I'd run off the bus.

I know, I know. Weird dream. But we can't explain how the brain works when we're sleeping.

Anybody else have any autograph dreams?

Tags: Bono, Freddie Mercury, Jimi Hendrix, Queen, Robby Kreiger, The Doors, U2

2 members like this

Comment by Paul on January 1, 2017 at 11:06pm: Wait a minute in this dream was there a naked Indian?

Comment by Eric Keith Longo on January 1, 2017 at 11:08pm: Autograph Nightmares!

Happy New Year Josh!

Eric

Comment by Eric Keith Longo on January 1, 2017 at 11:13pm: I take it you are talking about the Morrison dream? :)

Wow, in my nightmares I don't have a pen, I have the pen and no vinyl...things like that. Gilmour laughing because I don't have a pen or a flat and I am missing Waters show down the block while looking for one...

Comment by Paul on January 1, 2017 at 11:15pm: Yes, Morrison dream. You had the same one also.

Comment by Josh Board on January 2, 2017 at 7:27am: Paul -- that's funny. I remember when that Doors movie came out, being annoyed at how ridiculous so many aspects of it were.

Eric -- yep. I've had that dream many times. It didn't involve Pink Floyd, but not having pens, and frantically looking for one. One time, it was for a "meet and greet" with Sir Paul McCartney. Nobody backstage had a pen, and I started panic looking for one. In my dream, I actually drove all the way home, and while there, decided to bring more Beatles albums. Yet since it was hard finding where they were, I was late getting back, and the meet and greet was over.

Comment by Joe W. on January 2, 2017 at 7:41am: Wonder which dream is the dumbest. You folks dreaming about getting autographs or me being able to fly like Peter Pan?

Comment by Josh Board on January 2, 2017 at 8:41am: One thing about my brain with dreams -- it only dreams about realistic things. For example, I've never had a flying dream, but...I've had dreams I'm playing basketball and can slam dunk over somebody (I always played basketball, but never got anywhere close to slamming it). I've also never had dreams I'm making love to Sophia Loren. It would only be women I met in real life, or that would give me the time of day. Something about my brain. It just won't let me dream about unrealistic scenarios (well....unless it's meeting Jimi Hendrix or Jim Morrison!)

Comment by Joe W. on January 2, 2017 at 8:49am: Haven't really dreamed about flying in many years but as a youth I seemed to dream about flying often. It was always over my own neighborhood. And I never had even seen Peter Pan yet! I'm older now and rarely has a dream that I remember. I guess, if I could control my dream I wouldn't be the autograph seeker but rather the celebrity signing the autographs.

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