The Best Autograph Story Ever (or "Warren Sapp is a Sap")

I’ve never been a fan of Warren Sapp. The guy had a 12-year career in the NFL and he’s a Hall of Famer (not sure how he fared on Dancing with the Stars). Yet he was always getting into trouble. That could be fights on the field, at a strip club...the stories were endless.

That’s why I took great pleasure in a video I saw on the show TMZ tonight (I know, it’s Valentine’s Day, and I should’ve been doing something sweet for my wife, but hey...this is my job!)

In 2015 at a Super Bowl party, a woman claims he drunkenly bowled her over and caused severe bodily damage. She’s been trying to serve him for over a year. She wasn’t having much luck, but the process server came up with a great strategy. According to TMZ, he paid $70 an autograph signing to meet Sapp. He waited in line and went up, shook his hand, and a photo of them was taken together. Then he said, “You’ve been served.”

If I was this process server, I would frame the picture and put it on my wall, with something about “My clients are so happy. Heck, even football Hall of Famers I serve are happy with my service.”

I’m not sure if the guy also got his autograph, but heck...he should’ve had him sign an 8x10 and had it inscribed with something like “Serving up sacks on the field.” It would’ve been like the Pete Rose signed baseballs that said “Sorry I bet on baseball.”

On the subject of paying to meet athletes, I was blown away when Lakers rookie Lonzo Ball was charging $199 at an autograph signing the other day. He hasn’t been all that impressive as a rookie for the Lakers (and he’s been injured a lot). I’m guessing it would be tought for Hall of Famers like Kareem or Magic to charge that much.

The most Lonzo’s being talked about is when his dopey dad opens his mouth. For those that aren’t familiar with the Ball family and their “Big Baller Brand” -- one of the sons was stealing from a store in China and got suspended from the UCLA basketball team. The dad then decided that punishment was too harsh and took him out of the university. The other son was in high school. Mr. Ball didn’t like the new basketball coach they hired, so he took him out of high school. He then thought the best course of action to advance their education was...uh...letting them play professional basketball in Lithuania for a rather small salary. They haven’t done all that great over there, and certainly NBA scouts aren’t excited by any of them, especially with the latest statements from a father that’s rivalling Joe Jackson (the father of the Jackson 5, not the terrific 80s punk singer/songwriter). He said that the Lakers better sign the other two sons or Lonzo won’t be signing with them again when his contract is up in two years. Part of me thinks Magic Johnson and the rest of the Lakers staff would be relieved.

Now, if Lonzo becomes some stud baller in the next few years and the Lakers don’t want to lose him...they can always pay the two younger brothers out of his salary. So if he’s worth $20 million a year, tell the Ball family they’ll sign him for $18 million, and each of the other brothers will get a $1 million dollar contract. Of course, that means you’re wasting two seats on your bench, but...if it makes the idiot father happy...

Views: 278

Tags: Big Baller Brand, Dancing with the Stars, Lonzo Ball, Pete Rose, UCLA, Warren Sapp, Warren Sapp served

Comment by Coachgd on March 9, 2018 at 3:22pm

Great Blog!  

I thought you stopped blogging because once again, they are not posting your (or my) blogs on the home page!  

I've asked the past few time and it gets fixed.  Your turn.


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